"Asking someone to be kind is like asking a 3-year old to be good.”
It’s all about what you perceive the word “good” means.
Have you ever performed an act you thought was kind that backfired? Here's an example:
Let’s say I’m walking into a store.
In front of me there is a gentleman in a wheelchair who is trying to open the door. He seems like he’s having some trouble. I step in and open the door for him.
Now imagine this scenario:
He looks up at me and says,
“Thanks. I appreciate that but I’ve only been in this wheelchair for 2 weeks and I have to learn to do this for myself.”
How do I feel? Rejected
What could I have done differently so what I intended was in fact received as a kind act? I COULD HAVE ASKED if he needed help opening the door.
What difference does "the ask" make?
Asking allows him to make a decision about whether or not he wants to accept my help based on his culture, his values. This allows him the chance to either “opt in” to receive the kindness I want to extend… or to "opt out" and decline it.
The key to offering a kindness AND being perceived as being kind is "THE ASK." It takes courage and humility to get permission to act kindly.
So...At TNI we say "Kindness is all about the ask.'
Keep calm and be kind
Lorraine & Vivian